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Tim Colwill is a 22 year old human male who resides in Perth, Western Australia. Inventor of the cardboard toaster and the car-powered car, Tim is also an accomplished author, having penned such notable works as Romeo and Juliet, Clifford The Big Red Dog, and The Bible. In his spare time, Tim directs movies under the nom de plume Steven Spielberg and maintains his own standing army of genetically engineered watermelons. Truly it is said that Tim has had an illustrious career, matched only by its ludicrously unbelievable exaggeration.

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// Filed under: Random on Wednesday March 15th 2006, 8:02 pm

You know what I like best about these weird, vague entries in my journal? They make my love life sound much more interesting than it actually is.

I’m doing well, by the way.

Here’s something interesting. Recently, the internet at the Colwill household had been dropping out sporadically. We paid it no mind, as our router could be generously described as “fucked”. Said router is, for reasons unknown (theoretically for better wireless broadcasting) located on a ledge under the granny-flat-extension in which we live.

However, two days ago I was trying to find one of our dogs. It was dinner’ing time and she is quite old and hard of hearing, and knowing that she likes to lie under the house to seek cool refuge from the Australian summer, I bent down and peered under the house.

To find my router lying in the sand.

My router was half-buried in the sand.

The dogs must have yanked one of the loose ethernet cables running under the house or something, because the whole contraption was lying in the dirt, still connected and miracle of miracles still working.

So there I am, lying on my back in the dirt under the house, gently shaking my router and watching the sand fall out of it in waves, and crying softly on the inside.

There we go - I just displayed my technical know-how, and my soft sensitive side. I should have a girlfriend any day now.

// 12 Comments

12 Comments »

Tinkling Koala says:

March 16, 2006 at 1:48 am

Very nice, Tim. Perhaps this proves that sand is a natural conducter of data. Perhaps more sand will clear up the problem.
Doomy says:

March 16, 2006 at 7:56 am

That’s so poetic. You should make one of those movie shorts in black and white, just showing the sand slowly falling out in waves, the lights blinking in feeble defiance of nature…

… and then one of the dogs with the shifty eyes.
Popogeejo says:

March 16, 2006 at 10:55 pm

This story never gets old…
Kitta says:

March 17, 2006 at 3:58 pm

They’re routivores, nothing can stop their thirst for the sweet data of a router.
Sokth says:

March 18, 2006 at 5:04 pm

I reckon the rough equivalent to your dogs in our household is either my mother’s general attitude towards electrical appliances or my dad’s instinctive lust for TAMPERING THE FUCK AROUND.
t3h (h4r says:

March 20, 2006 at 3:28 am

*giggle* Aww, Mr. Tim I will TOTALLY be your girlfriend!

..ifyoumovetocanadaandbuildmywebsiteandgive
meallyourtalentsothatiamnolongeraworthless
uncreativemutt. >.>;

TIM IS THE FIXINATOR.
t3h (h4r says:

March 20, 2006 at 3:28 am

p.s. ha ha, I broke your notes! ^_^b
Simon says:

March 26, 2006 at 6:38 pm

Pfft, I’ve been there, it isn’t that bad. What IS bad, is that you haven’t got me a goddamn birthday present yet!

I’m going to bed!
rob says:

March 28, 2006 at 9:04 am

I dont know…. it just seems that underneith a house/granny flat seems a really stupid place to put a router. Have you considered putting it indoors? Might solve some of the problems?

~r
t3h (h4r says:

March 28, 2006 at 9:13 pm

*grumble* Jerk. >.>;

p.s. I like your latest comic! WHEEEEEEE MONKEY
ben says:

April 2, 2006 at 12:43 am

As Rob mentioned above me, indoors seems to be the place to put a router. Here in America, we put them indoors and they seem to work all the time. On top of that, I have very little sand indoors. Two birds, one stone.
Jimi(I) says:

April 20, 2006 at 10:10 am

Everytime I see you, you tell me (what I think at the time are) well thought out stories with an eerily pre-rehearsed fluency. Then, I look at your site and discover the reason for this.
Damn you and your recycled humour. Same applies re christmas card.

P.S. Stuart appreciated the small selection of string instrumnets comment. I prefered the live cougar. Not that I have anything against dead cougars. That’s what I told ‘em in court, anyway (and yes, I appreciate the lack of originality in that sentence even though I’m complaining about your recycled humour, if you don’t like it go live in Russia with the rest of the pinko sympathising something arathers. I’m too tired to be eloquent. Communists).