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The Author

Tim Colwill is a 22 year old human male who resides in Perth, Western Australia. Inventor of the cardboard toaster and the car-powered car, Tim is also an accomplished author, having penned such notable works as Romeo and Juliet, Clifford The Big Red Dog, and The Bible. In his spare time, Tim directs movies under the nom de plume Steven Spielberg and maintains his own standing army of genetically engineered watermelons. Truly it is said that Tim has had an illustrious career, matched only by its ludicrously unbelievable exaggeration.

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The Law And You

// Filed under: Life on Sunday November 06th 2005, 6:16 pm

*ring ring*

“Hello?”
“Hello, can I please speak to Tim Colwill?”
“That’s me.”
“Yes, I’m Superintendant Phillips from the Quinns Rock Police. Your name and number have come up as linked to a fuel theft in Quinns Rock recently.”
“A fuel theft?”
“Yes, that’s right, in Quinns Rock. Somebody drove off without paying for their fuel.”
“Um, look. I work at a petrol station. I don’t even know where Quinns Rock is.”
“Hmm. What kind of car do you drive?”
“A Toyota Camry.”
“A Camry, eh? That’s exactly the sort of car that was spotted driving off with the fuel. What colour is it?”
“It’s burgundy, with an aquamarine fuel cap cover.”
“Hmm, no, this one was silver.”
“I see?”
“How old are you, son?”
“Uh, twenty.”
“Oh. Oh, I see. No, we’re after an old man, about eighty years old.”
“Riiiiiight.”
“Okay. Thanks for your help.”
“No problem.”
“Goodbye.”
“Bye.”

Inspiring.

// 4 Comments

4 Comments »

Gussy says:

November 6, 2005 at 7:07 pm

hehe, Go the Camry!!! Quinns Rocks is like East Geraldton…..so far away from civilisation that it could almost be the moon. Nice to see that the police are at least following up reports?
Doomy says:

November 7, 2005 at 11:09 am

This reminds me of a story my brother told me.

He has a female friend who drives a particular car. One day she was pulled over, told to get out of her car at gunpoint with her hands on her head, frisked and handcuffed roughly against the hood of her car, and it was two hours later that the police figured out they were actually looking for two white males, not one white female. It’s not like she’s a manly girl, either.

Aah, police.
Tinkling_Koala says:

November 8, 2005 at 1:38 am

I’m glad that sort of thing never happened to me before. Sounds like a big waste of time, but it makes for a funny story.
Tom says:

November 9, 2005 at 7:16 pm

*Ring Ring*

Hello?
“Hello, can I please speak to Tim Colwill?”
Speaking.
“Tim Colwill of Quinn’s Rock?”
Yes.
“Superintendant Phillips from the Quinns Rock Police. Your name and number have come up as linked to a fuel theft in Quinns Rock recently.”
Oh?
“Yes. Are you old and have a silver car?”
Yes…
“Um. Right then.”
…
“You might have to go to court, you know.”
…
“Just sayin’ is all.”

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