Not only do you forsake your people and worship false idols (wont somebody think of the children?), you go around shamelessly accusing us of understanding. Since when have we been rational? When have we ever been busy (or at least, actually doing the mountains of work we’re meant to be doing)? When, when you get right down to it, have we ever thought about anyone but ourselves?

Admittedly, by ‘we’ I mean me, and by having a point I mean ‘I like typing’, but you must shower me with praise and attention And keep me in a well lit room. Or I wilt.

I’m also partial to aniseed lollies.

The little red ones.

You know the ones.

They’re red.