Fiesty Ball Of Agonised Fury

// Filed under: Life on Tuesday August 30th 2005, 5:38 pm

By which I of course refer to my neck. It’s a blinding column of pain. I don’t know whether it was the ten hours straight of standing up at work, the three hours after that helping Dad lift, prop, hoist and drag one big ass-fuck of a TV antenna up onto the roof, or the four hours of tragically uncomfortable sleep, or possibly all three, but I bent down to tie my shoelaces and my spine was afire with the pain of millennia.

I don’t even know why we’ve got this antenna. Seriously. It’s about three metres long and two wide, with more spikes than a bondage collar. If this thing doesn’t pick up goddamn NASA signals I’ll be highly disappointed. However, we don’t need NASA signals. In fact we don’t really need better signals at all. The only problem with our TV signals exists soley in the head of my mother, whose exasperation at not being able to pick up SBS without furry static is unmatched in mortal realms. So really, we spend about three hours and risked catastrophic antenna collapse to sate my mother’s need for quirky documentaries and my father’s need to have a massive metal object protruding from the roof, interrupting the flight paths of birds.

Anyway the real tragedy here is that this neck-pain forces me to sit up straight in order to stave it off. And I’m a slacker by nature. A sloucher. I can’t sit up straight. I don’t do straight (alright, I’ll let you have that one). Now I am forced to observe the world in a well-rounded, good-postured fashion, devoid of the rosy glow of slackness.

And let me tell you, people, it ain’t pretty.

// 2 Comments

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